


Shiawase ni Narou

by rainclouded



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Mild Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-30 07:57:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19848895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainclouded/pseuds/rainclouded
Summary: Sayo’s burgeoning feelings for her bandmate lead her in some bad, and ultimately maybe also some good, directions. Part 1 is from Sayo’s perspective, part 2 is from Lisa’s.





	1. Sayo

It was an hour or so before we were supposed to start band practice, and rather than doing anything productive, I was sitting in my room looking up mascara tutorials online so I could figure out how to apply the damn stuff right. It kept globbing up, or smearing all over my eyelids, or seemingly doing whatever it could to avoid looking like it was supposed to. Eventually, after wiping it off several times, I finally got it to look somewhat passable, and let myself fall backwards onto my bed with a thump, feeling more than a little frustrated by the experience. I had no idea how Lisa managed to do this kind of thing every day.

…Speaking of Lisa, it had been her suggestion that I try this out anyway. I normally would have paid it no heed, but for some reason, here I was, doing something totally out of character for me, all because someone had suggested I might look pretty if I did it. When had I started caring about _looking pretty_? True, when I’d looked in the mirror earlier, I’d felt--just for a second--like I could become one of those stylish girls like Lisa, wearing short dresses and earrings and lots of makeup. But it wasn’t like that was something I really wanted. It was just a passing fancy. I mean, the stuff I was wearing today was already starting to feel a little weird and uncomfortable. This was definitely the last time I was doing this… right?

I covered my face with my hands and sighed. “God, I really hope she likes it.”

After I arrived at the studio, there was an uncomfortable pause as the other band members stared at me. “…Sayo, are you wearing _makeup_?” Yukina asked, breaking the silence.

“Just a bit,” I replied, somewhat sullenly. “Is it really that unusual?”

She and Rinko exchanged a glance. “Is it a dare? Blackmail? Did you lose a bet?”

“It’s nothing like that! It’s just, um, Lisa said she thought it would look good on me, so I just thought I’d give it a shot.” I tried my best to sound casual, even though I could feel my face heating up.

Yukina remained dubious, but I was saved from further interrogation by Lisa and Ako showing up. “Sorry we’re late!” Lisa said, hurriedly opening her bass case as she walked into the studio.

“Well, then, shall we begin?” Yukina asked.

Practice ended, and I put away my guitar more deliberately than usual, hoping--expecting, really--that Lisa would notice. But she made to leave without saying anything, and I felt somehow desperate, as though it was of paramount importance that she tell me my makeup was pretty. I reached out and grabbed her arm, and she turned to me with a slightly quizzical look on her face. “Sayo? Is something up?”

I froze for a second, suddenly self-conscious about how weird I must have seemed to her. “Um, sorry, I just tried putting on a little bit of makeup… Do you think it, um, looks good?”

Her eyes widened, and she immediately looked apologetic. “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry I didn’t notice! I’ve been a little busy these days so I’m just kind of out of it… but really, you’re naturally super pretty so it looks great on you! Better be careful, though, you’re going to get a lot more admirers if you keep this up!” She grinned and winked at me. “I’ve gotta go, but if you ever want me to help you out with some of this stuff, just let me know. I’d be happy to have someone as good-looking as you to try things out on!”

“S-sure,” I said, voice unsteady. After she’d left, I let out a sigh and slumped my shoulders. What was wrong with me? I wasn’t the kind of person to let my emotions get the better of me. I could try to justify it, but all I was really doing was making a fool of myself.

At the same time, though… it made me feel good when she told me I was pretty. I wanted to wear makeup again so that she’d tell me that again. Of course anyone would be pleased if someone complimented them, but with Lisa it was somehow different. For whatever reason, it felt _special_ to hear it from her, to the point where I’d think about one of her remarks weeks later and feel mysteriously happy. I wasn’t sure I liked feeling like this, exactly. It was a little frightening not to know exactly where my emotions were going to take me. But, still--

My thoughts were interrupted by Yukina putting a hand on my shoulder. “Are you doing all right, Sayo? You’re acting a little weird.”

“Uh, I’m perfectly fine. It’s just your imagination, maybe?”

She gave me a pointed look, and sighed. “If you’re not up to your best, then Roselia can’t be at its best either. Your condition is something that concerns all of us. More than that, though, we’re, um, friends? And if there’s something I can do to help you, I’d, uh, like to do it.” She looked embarrassed. “Sorry, I’m not exactly used to this kind of thing…”

“It’s okay.” I felt similarly awkward. “But really, I’m fine. I think I’m just a little tired today. I wouldn’t want to make trouble for everyone.”

“If you say so.” I sensed Yukina was, again, unconvinced by my excuses, but she left it at that.

We had a day off from school the next day, and I was out running a brief errand for my parents when I saw Lisa walking on the other side of the street. I was stricken by a sudden dilemma: did I call out to her or not? On the one hand, I couldn’t deny that I wanted to see her. But on the other hand, I wasn’t wearing any of the makeup I’d been wearing last time, and the old dog-themed t-shirt I had on was a little embarrassing to be seen in, especially by her. I was strongly considering just attempting to sneak home without her seeing when my decision was made for me, as she called out to me and waved. “Sayoooo!”

There was nothing I could really do at this point, so I gave in and crossed the street over to where she was. “It’s rare to see you out outside of practice or school, Sayo. What’s up?”

“I was just running a couple of errands. What about you?”

“Doing some shopping! You want to join me?”

I hesitated for a second, unsure of how exactly to answer. She must have interpreted that as discomfort, because her voice took on an apologetic tone. “Sorry, I really didn’t mean to put you on the spot, Sayo. But if you’ve got time, you wanna stop by a cafe with me at least?”

I had no real reason to decline, even as much as I regretted my choice of outfits. “That should be fine.”

“Great! I don’t think I’ve been out with you like this before, Sayo, so I’m looking forward to it!” She grabbed my arm and steered me down the street, startling me with the sudden display of physical intimacy. I hadn’t really had many close female friends before, so I wasn’t sure how much contact was normal, or what girls did together, or whether how I felt now was normally how girls felt about people they were friends with. But even as it was unknown territory, I couldn’t bring myself to _dislike_ the feeling of getting to know Lisa better.

The cafe was a cute and stylish place; very Lisa-esque. I felt vaguely out of place in the clothes I was wearing, and even more so when Lisa commented on them. “I like seeing you in clothes like this. It’s kind of refreshing.”

“If I’d known that I was going to run into you, I would have worn something a little nicer.”

She grinned. “Wow, you’d dress up just for me? You must really like me, huh, Sayo?~”

My eyes widened and I blushed. I was really no match for her teasing, especially when I knew it was true. “Well… I mean… I’d want to dress up for any of my friends…” I said, struggling feebly for an excuse.

“I know, I know, I was just messing with you a little bit. You’re just so cute when you get flustered like that!”

I wasn’t sure whether to be happy that she called me cute or annoyed that she was enjoying my embarrassment. “I never know how to take it when you call me cute, or say I look good, or whatever,” I said, thinking immediately after I finished that I maybe should have kept that to myself.

“I mean all of it, Sayo,” she said, looking surprisingly serious. “You really are cute. You’re pretty with makeup and without it, and you’re also really fun to hang out with. When I say that kind of thing, it’s because I really do like you! But if you’d rather I cooled it a little, then I can do that too.”

She winked at me, and I felt my heart flutter. Oh no. I was getting a bad feeling about all of this. Not about Lisa, of course, but about myself. Before I’d wondered if this was how all girls felt about their friends… but I had an increasingly sneaking suspicion that was not the case. I tried to banish the unwelcome thought from my mind, but it kept creeping up uninvited throughout the rest of our time at the cafe.

 _Sayo… are you in_ love _with her?_

It was a week or so later, at our evening practice, when things really came to a head. I was already submerged in a mess of thoughts about everything as it was, and having Lisa right there next to me certainly didn’t do wonders for my concentration. I just couldn’t muster up the energy to care about the band right now. It was kind of bitterly ironic that I, the very person who’d criticized others so often for bringing unnecessary feelings into Roselia, was now sabotaging the band because of my inability to control my emotions.

“Sayo,” Yukina said sharply after one particularly listless guitar section, “do you even want to be here today?”

“Yukina, that’s kind of unfair, isn’t it?” Lisa pushed back, trying to argue my case a little. “Don’t you think that Sayo’s more than earned the benefit of the doubt?”

At another time I might have appreciated her being on my side, but at that moment I was possessed by a sudden flash of petty anger. “No, Yukina’s right, actually. I really don’t want to be here. I’ve got better things to be doing.” Before anyone could really react, I’d put away my guitar and grabbed my things, making to leave the studio. Ako and Rinko had surprise etched on their faces, Yukina some combination of anger and disdain. I couldn’t bring myself to look at Lisa.

Just after I’d gotten out of the building, though, she came running after me, grabbing my shoulder as she tried to catch her breath. “Sayo! What’s going on?”

“It’s not anything that concerns you.” I didn’t stop walking.

“Please, don’t say that. We’re friends, right? I don’t want to see you suffer. I want to be someone you can rely on in times like these!”

“Do you really want to know…?” I was about to say something I couldn’t take back. But it was for the best. Better to break off this connection before it became too painful for both of us.

“Yes, of course! Sayo… please, you can tell me anything.”

“My problems are _because of you_. You keep trying to push things on me I don’t want. You seem to think I like being around you a lot more than I actually do. You’re honestly just kind of annoying.” I quickened my stride so as to get away from the whole situation faster, hoping I could outrun the sinking feeling in my chest.

“Sayo…?” Hearing her speak made me falter. I didn’t think I’d ever heard her sound like that before, her voice quavering and permeated by a kind of quiet anguish it was hard to believe my words could evoke. After all, I was just some cold, awkward, overly formal girl who happened to be in the same band as her. It wasn’t like I was Yukina, or one of her many other friends who surely had more to offer her than me. Why would she even care if we stopped being friends?

But then I looked back and saw her face, and it almost broke my heart. I’d expected her to be angry or bitter at me. Resentful of a person who’d randomly sprung something like this on her out of nowhere. But I didn’t see any of that in her eyes. She just looked surprised and sad, and I knew I’d really fucked up then. Because it confirmed what I’d suspected, and had tried to pretend wasn’t true, all along: I really meant something to Lisa, and I’d hurt her for no reason other than my own selfishness. A better, braver person than me would have run back to her side at that moment, apologized, and comforted her, and everything would have been okay. But I was a coward, and so I ran away into the night, guitar case thumping against my back, desperately trying to swallow the lump in my throat.

I didn’t go back to band practice. I didn’t go back to school either. I turned the notifications on my phone off and buried it under a pile of clothes in my closet. Maybe, I thought, if I just cut everything off with the band here, I wouldn’t have to face the embarrassment of seeing them again and trying to explain what the hell had happened. At that moment, it honestly seemed preferable.

A couple of days passed and I started to feel more and more like a fool. Faking an illness and alienating my only real friends, all because I was in love with a girl? How lame could I get? If Hina caught wind of this, I’d never live it down.

I’d finally stopped holing up in my room and was in the kitchen, trying to make a simple omelette so I could eat some real food for the first time in what felt like ages, when the doorbell rang. Not thinking, I assumed Hina had forgotten her key again and opened the door without checking who it was, only to be abruptly greeted by the person I least wanted to see at that moment.

“Hey, Sayo,” Lisa said, waving at me in a way that seemed to lack her usual enthusiasm. “You may not want me here, but I just wanted to check up on you.”

I was a little too surprised and guilty to just shut the door in her face, and by the time I’d realized it she’d already wormed her way into the entranceway. “Jeez,” I said, sighing. “You really don’t know when to stop getting into other people’s business, do you?”

She grinned and followed me into the kitchen, where I continued making my omelette, trying to steel my heart against the conversation to come as I did so. “Listen, I’ll be back at school soon, and, uh, practice, too, I guess, if you guys want me there. I’ve just been kinda tense lately, and I really said some things I shouldn’t have, that I didn’t really mean. So, um, I’m sorry.” If I could at all avoid talking about my own feelings, that would be ideal. That was what I was most scared of.

“Hmm…” she said, giving the appearance of pondering even though I was pretty sure she knew exactly what she was going to say next. “Apology not accepted.”

I stared blankly at her, egg sizzling in the pan.

“I mean, Sayo, do you really expect me to be satisfied with just that? You said some awfully mean things to me the other day. I feel like you owe me a real explanation.”

I racked my brains frantically, trying to figure out a way to explain things to her without actually telling her the truth. “Um, well, I, you know…”

As I fumbled with my words, the smell of something burning filled the room, and I quickly turned off the stove, though not quickly enough to save my omelette, which sat sadly in the pan in a state of dubious edibility.

Lisa burst out laughing and came up behind me. “You know, when we first met I was a little scared of you,” she said, lightly touching my arm. “But you’re not really the strict super-competent person you like to make yourself seem like. You burn your omelettes and get embarrassed in all kinds of cute ways. And more than anything, you’re really a nice person at heart.”

I continued staring at the omelette and said nothing.

“That’s why I don’t believe you. The Sayo I know wouldn’t say those things to me. And I saw your face right there at the end. You didn’t seem like someone who would coldly call me annoying. You seemed like saying that was going to make you cry.”

Again, I said nothing.

“Was I really too pushy, though? Like I said before, I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. If I did, then I’m sorry.”

I could feel my resolve starting to break. I’d been the one who’d hurt her feelings, and yet here she was, being considerate of me again. Really, she was too nice. I didn’t deserve to be friends with her.

I didn’t deserve it, and yet… I didn’t want to lose her. So if telling her my feelings was the only way that I could get her to forgive me and let me continue to be her friend, then it was obvious what I had to do.

I turned to face Lisa and took a deep breath. “You really haven’t done anything wrong. It’s just, well, I guess I should start from the beginning.” I could feel my heart thumping in my chest. Was I really going to be able to go through with this?

“From the beginning, I never really had a lot of close friends my age. I guess just something about me turned other people off… adults liked how studious and serious I was, but those weren’t things my classmates really cared about. And for my part, I thought they were lazy and cared too much about frivolous things that didn’t really matter.” I could see my hand, which was resting on the kitchen counter, shaking, and hoped she hadn’t noticed it.

“But when I joined Roselia, and met all of you, I started to think that maybe I’d made a mistake. That being with people I really liked was actually a lot of fun, and really fulfilling. And, um, most of all, I liked being with you, Lisa. When we went out to eat together, or made cookies, or whatever, it was, um, everything I’d wanted out of a friendship, I felt like.”

Tears had started to shine in Lisa’s eyes, but I forced myself to ignore them and keep going. I didn’t think I’d be able to say what I needed to otherwise. “So I thought that this feeling was what it was like to have a really close friend. But, uh, then I started realizing that I really really liked it when you said I was pretty, and that I wanted to wear makeup just for you, and all kinds of stuff that friends normally don’t want.”

“Wait, Sayo, you’re not saying…”

“It was kind of a scary feeling, honestly, so I tried to push you away, and I’m… sorry about that. But seeing you here again, I realized what I really want, more than anything, is to stay by your side, if you’ll let me.” My heart was beating a mile a minute. I’d just spilled my soul, basically, and I had no idea how she would respond. I wasn’t even sure how I wanted her to respond.

Lisa looked as though she were dealing with her own set of complicated emotions, surprise chief among them, but she steeled herself, grabbed my hands, and stared me straight in the face. “Sayo, do you really mean everything you just said?” she asked, voice dead serious.

“Yes,” I said, hoping I sounded less nervous than I felt.

She looked away for a second and bit her lip, seemingly embarrassed about what she was about to say. “I just don’t want to misunderstand anything. You’re saying you’re in love with me? Like, romantically?”

“Uh… yes.” I had absolutely no idea if that was the answer she was looking for or not.

“Can you, um, tell me that? I want to hear it straight from you.”

I hesitated, still in the dark about what exactly was going on here.

“Please?” she asked, eyes big and pleading. “Just let me be selfish for a second here.”

There was no real way I could say no to that face, so I tried to calm my racing heart, gripping her hands tightly as I did so, and said the very thing I’d promised myself I’d never say: “Lisa, I love you.”

“Just one more thing, then. Can you close your eyes?”

I did so obligingly, and then a few seconds later felt the soft touch of her lips on mine. “I love you too, Sayo,” she whispered into my ear.

I opened my eyes and tentatively, awkwardly embraced her, the sensation of her lips, the warmth of her body, the damp spot where she’d cried into my shirt, the smell of the burnt omelette, all coalescing into a single indelible memory. We’d sure taken a roundabout way getting here, and I had no idea where things might go from this point. But here, in this moment, with Lisa in my arms, I felt as happy as I ever had.


	2. Lisa

In the ensuing weeks after my visit to Sayo’s house, I still couldn’t really believe what had just happened. Couldn’t believe that this time, I hadn’t fallen for a straight girl; couldn’t believe that I’d actually kissed her; couldn’t believe that she actually felt the same way about me?? It was a whole lot to take in. 

Sayo came back to band practice and things returned to much the same as they had been before she’d left in the first place. But I wanted more than “the same as before.” I wanted to really deepen my connection with her, to do all the girlfriend-y things I’d dreamed about doing for ages. And since Sayo would never take the initiative in this sort of thing, it was up to me to push our relationship along. And I had just the plan to do it.

It was about three weeks since she’d originally confessed to me, on a day when we had practice after school. “Sayo!” I said, hugging her from behind after our band had finished rehearsing. “We don’t have school tomorrow, so do you wanna come stay over at my house today?”

“That should be fine. Let me just call my parents first.”

Despite my earlier confidence, I couldn’t quite shake the sense of nervousness I felt about what might (or might not) happen next. I mean, despite the general vibe I gave off, I had no real experience with romance, unless reading the love advice sections in magazines counted. Actually having a girlfriend was, honestly, more than a little scary, although I didn’t really want to admit that to Sayo. 

But still, I had to say I was excited. It was fun to be around Sayo, and being her girlfriend meant that I got to see all kinds of sides to her that no one else go to. And besides, wasn’t being alone with the person you were dating the kind of situation that every girl longed for? I might have, um, neglected to mention the “being alone” part to Sayo, but I was sure she was looking forward to it too.

“It’s fine,” Sayo said, walking back over to me after having finished her phone call. “I think this is the first time I’ve slept over at a friend’s house, so my parents were, um, a little surprised.”

“Oh, Sayo, I’m so glad I get to be your first!”

She gave me a pointed look but ignored the comment. “It’s getting a little late, so shall we go?”

We arrived at my house, and I pulled out my keys and opened the door to reveal pitch darkness inside. I flipped on a couple of lights, took off my shoes, and leaned my bass against a wall near the door, Sayo following close behind me. “Where are your parents?” she asked. “I wanted to at least greet them since I’m going to be staying over.”

“Oh, did I not mention it? They’re not actually going to be here tonight.” I felt a little guilty, but that was mostly overwhelmed by a kind of mischievous glee at the prospect of seeing how my uptight girlfriend might respond to this.

Sayo blinked and stared at me. “Wait, you mean… were you, um, planning to…” She suddenly blushed.

“Whew, man,” I said, fanning myself with my hand, “my bra’s starting to feel real constricting. It’d be nice if someone could take it off for me…”

Sayo gave me a somewhat incredulous look as I gradually felt my face heating up. Okay, so that had been a little embarrassing, even for me. “Um, just kidding?”

“Are you sure about that?”

“I’m just kidding… unless, um, you want me not to be.”

Her face was red, and she was avoiding meeting my eyes as she said softly, “And… and if I don’t want you to be?”

A shiver ran down my spine. Was this… was it really about to happen? Depending on what I said next, we might really end up crossing a line we couldn’t un-cross. So yeah, I was nervous. But at the same time, I had to admit that seeing Sayo like this was _really_ turning me on. And, well, sometimes you just gotta give in to what your lady parts want rather than trying to fight ‘em.

“Sayo? Can you look at me?” She obliged, still wearing that cute embarrassed innocent look, and I pulled her face down to mine and kissed her. As I put my tongue in, she stiffened, but eventually she relaxed, put her arms around me, and we really got into the makeout session vibe. After we pulled away, I was once again struck by how damn hot my girlfriend was, especially with her face bright red, her breathing heavy, and a trail of my spit dripping down from her mouth. I had a sudden urge to just pounce on her right then and there, and really make her mine. But I forced myself to wait just a little bit longer.

When she’d caught her breath a little bit, she spoke for the first time in a while. “Um, Lisa… you said earlier you wanted someone to take your bra off. Is it still okay if I…” she trailed off.

My heart skipped a beat. “Um, yeah, of course it’s okay!” I said, trying to mask the fact that my embarrassment was starting to catch up to me.

With trembling fingers, she lifted her hands and slowly began to unbutton my shirt. As she fumbled, I tried to think of ways to make things a little less awkward. “Oh! You know, I heard that the reason girls’ shirts button the opposite way as guys’ was that women used to have other people button their shirts for them. I always thought that kind of thing was really romantic. Kinda can’t believe someone’s actually doing it for me…”

“Do you want me to come over and put on a shirt for you every morning, then?”

“Wow, Sayo, do you really want to see me shirtless that badly? I mean, I’m okay with it, but I wouldn’t have expected a girl like you…”

She glared at me. “Should I keep going or not?”

“Sorry, sorry, please do! I just wanted to lighten the mood a little bit.”

I’d said that, but as Sayo finished unbuttoning my shirt and reached around my back to unhook my bra, I felt my heart pounding harder than it felt like it had ever pounded before. And then she took it off, and there I was, standing in the hallway, topless in front of my girlfriend.

I laughed nervously and squeezed my boobs together with my arms in a halfhearted attempt to hide them. “Uh, wow, this is a little more embarrassing than I thought it might be!”

Sayo was in a daze staring at my chest, like she’d somehow been hypnotized by my boobs. She noticed me watching her and abruptly looked away, blushing. It was so cute I had to laugh. “Hey, Sayo,” I said, “if you like ‘em so much… wanna examine them in more detail in my room?”

She froze. And then, in a barely audible voice: “Yeah.”

When I woke up the next morning, Sayo was still asleep next to me, her hair messily strewn across the pillow. It was 10:00 already, my phone said, which wasn’t too surprising given that we’d been up late. But I didn’t feel any hurry to get up just yet; I wanted to bask in the moment a little longer. I stroked Sayo’s hair lightly and watched as she slowly opened her eyes. “Lisa?” she asked sleepily.

“Good morning, Sayo!”

“…Good morning.”

“Waking up like this is kind of great, huh?”

She nodded slowly.

“I never thought I’d actually be in a situation where I’d get to spend the night with my girlfriend like this. It’s kinda like a dream come true.” 

“Mmm.”

“Like, when I first realized that I liked girls, I dreamed about a whole lot of romantic situations. But then the girls I liked all got boyfriends, or told me I was too clingy, and I kinda started to feel like the whole romance thing wasn’t ever going to happen for me. But then I met you, Sayo, and now it’s like, not to be too sappy, but kinda like true happiness?” I didn’t really know what I was saying, but the whole situation had me feeling really emotional for some reason.

Sayo smiled at me, then moved over to my side of the bed and kissed me on the forehead. “Lisa,” she said, still sounding a little sleepy, “you’re really cute.”

I instantly blushed. Really, I was so weak to her saying things like that. Her warm smile, the way you could tell she was totally sincere whenever she complimented you--could a more perfect girl possibly exist??

Over on the desk, my phone buzzed, but I ignored it and cuddled up to Sayo instead. “Sayo… I really love you, you know that?”

“I’d take you more seriously if you weren’t fondling my chest while you said that.”

Oh, she was really awake now. “I love your boobs, too.”

“Thanks. I’m honored to hear that.”

“You’re being sarcastic with me, but your nipples are hard already. It feels good, doesn’t it?”

“No comment,” she replied, though I could tell her breathing sounded a little heavier.

I let up on the groping and just hugged her instead. “Imagine if the people at your school could see you like this, though, Sayo. A morals committee member staying over at her girlfriend’s house to fuck her… you’re becoming a real delinquent, huh?”

“I-it’s not like we went all the way, though…”

“You should tell them that. ‘I just touched her tits a little bit so it was perfectly wholesome.’”

“Hmph. Well, school is school and what students do in their private lives isn’t any of my or anyone else’s business.”

“It’s too bad we don’t go to the same one! I wish I had more opportunities to corrupt Miss Model Student over here.”

“…I kind of wish that too. Well, the ‘going to school together’ part, at least.”

“Aww, Sayo!” I hugged her tight, unintentionally but not unwantedly pushing her head into my still-naked chest. My phone buzzed again, and I made to go grab it and figure out who was messaging me, but Sayo held on to my arm. “Just a little bit longer?” she asked, and there was no real way I could say no. 

“I still can’t believe I thought you were all scary and serious when I met you, and you turn out to be this cute and harmless girl who just wants to cuddle some more.”

“I’d be scary if there were anyone who was trying to hurt you, Lisa.”

I burst out laughing. “Sayo, could you have possibly picked a more cheesy line to say?”

“Well, aren’t you ungrateful. Maybe I’ll just ignore you next time you’re in trouble, then.”

“Sorry, sorry! I’m sure you’d be very scary, Sayo. I don’t know what I’d do without someone strong like you to protect me.”

Just then, we heard footsteps from somewhere outside of my room. “Oh, fuck,” I whispered. Sayo sat bolt upright and looked right at me. “Your parents?” she asked, looking panicked.

“They shouldn’t be back until tomorrow,” I said, as much to reassure myself as her. “Anyway, maybe we should get dressed just in case…”

A voice came from outside the door, somewhat muffled. “Lisa? Are you up? It’s Yukina.” 

Oh. Right. I’d forgotten they’d given her the spare key while they were gone. “Yukina? I’m awake, so just give me a second, don’t come in yet--”

As I said that, the door opened and she peered in. “Lisa? Since we have the day off, I was wondering if you wanted to go to a cat cafe with…” She trailed off at the sight of me and Sayo, in bed together and both clearly topless. “Uh, sorry. Keep going.”

The door closed and her footsteps slowly receded as the two of us tried to process what had just happened. “Well… it could have been worse?” I said, grabbing my phone and checking my messages, both of which were, predictably, from Yukina. “Sorry that Yukina saw your tits, though, Sayo.”

“…god, that was so embarrassing.” Sayo had her head in her hands, still not over it.

I patted her on one of her bare shoulders. “I’ll make us some breakfast… lunch? so you should get dressed. You can wear something of mine if you want.”

She nodded, and slowly got out of bed. While she looked through my closet, I thought about what the hell I was going to say to Yukina. Ultimately I just texted her “Sorry about all that, Yukina✰ I’ll definitely go with you another day! Promise!” and hoped she wouldn’t be too upset.

I returned to find Sayo still staring at my clothes. “Geez, just pick something, Sayo,” I said, flipping through the dresses and shirts I had hanging up. “I mean, you could come down just wearing panties like that if you want, but I figured you might want to actually wear clothes.”

“All of your dresses are too short. And all of your shirts have really low necklines.”

“You just need to broaden your horizons a little! They’d be cute on you, I promise.”

Eventually, despite my pleading, she ended up putting on one of my T-shirts and we headed downstairs. I was heading into the kitchen to prepare some sandwiches when my phone, which I’d left on the dining room table, buzzed again. “Sayo, what’s that say?”

“It’s from Yukina. She says ‘Clearly you have more important things going on, so don’t worry about coming with me. I needed to practice some by myself anyway.’” Sayo gave me a questioning look. “Um, I don’t know exactly what’s going on here, but it seems like she might be mad at you.”

“Uhh… yeah, probably. I, um, didn’t actually tell her we were going out, so it seems like it was a bit of a surprise to her.” 

“You didn’t?” Sayo looked surprised. “You two have always been really close, so I assumed she already knew about it.”

“Well… I was planning to tell her eventually, I just wasn’t sure how she would react, you know? And who I date is ultimately my business, isn’t it?”

“I get that, but… if the two of you really were that close, she might feel a little betrayed by you not having told her that. As if you--and I’m not saying this is true--didn’t trust her enough to tell her something important like that.”

“It’s not really my problem if she feels like that, though, is it?” That came out a little more snappy than I’d intended.

“Well, then how about you look at it from your side of things, then? I know you have me, but wouldn’t it be nice to have someone else you could talk to about your relationship?” Sayo looked a little sad. “You know, I was always a little jealous of you, Lisa… well, for a lot of reasons. But what I really envied was that you had a lot of friends and what seemed like a really special connection with Yukina. I don’t want you to lose that.”

I sighed, because I knew there was some truth in what she was saying. “I’ve just had some bad experiences in the past. Sometimes you gotta be a little careful about who you tell certain things.”

“I get that, but _Yukina_? Lisa, I think you should talk to her about this. I think it’ll be good for both of you.”

Sayo looked like she was genuinely concerned, but I still grimaced. It was a lot easier to offer people advice when they were in trouble than it was to accept that advice yourself, it turned out. “Okay, I’ll go talk to her. But only because it’s you telling me this.”

She smiled. “I’m glad to hear that. I do kind of like seeing you sulk like this, though.”

“I’m not!”

“It’s kind of like you’re showing me a side of yourself you wouldn’t show anyone else. That kind of thing makes me really happy. It’s like, you really _are_ my girlfriend, you know?”

The look on her face just then was extremely precious, and I couldn’t help but feel my mood improving. “Of course! That’s how this thing works.” I walked over to where she was and put a hand on her shoulder. “So let’s show each other all kind of new sides to ourselves from here on out, okay?”

A little later, I knocked on the door to Yukina’s house, feeling a little bit nervous. I wasn’t used to being in this position, and there was some small part of me that was wondering if I’d accidentally done some irreparable damage. But I forced myself to cheer up. We’d been friends for our whole lives, and our friendship had weathered stronger problems than this one. I just had to talk to her, and it’d all eventually work out.

The door opened, and Yukina peered out at me. “Lisa? I thought I told you not to worry about going out today. Do you need something?”

“Ah, um, yeah. I was just wondering if we could maybe talk a little bit?”

She narrowed her eyes. “About what?”

“Um, about what happened earlier.”

“Is there a need to talk about it? It seemed somewhat self-explanatory.” Yukina was curt even at the best of times, but she seemed particularly on edge today.

“Yukina, could you hear me out? I brought some cookies over.” I waved a cutely wrapped bag in front of her face.

There was an uncomfortably long silence, and then she sighed. “Come on in.”

I followed her up to her room, which was just as it always was: the same posters, the same racks of CDs, the same adorable cat bedspread. That, at least, helped me calm a little of my nervousness.

Yukina sat on her bed and stared at me expectantly while I set down the cookies on her desk and tried to figure out where exactly to start. “Well… you probably guessed it, but me and Sayo are going out.”

“Since when?”

“Since around when she stopped showing up to practice for a few days? So close to a month now.”

“…that’s quite a while.”

“Yeah… I’m sorry for not telling you earlier.”

Yukina suddenly looked surprisingly vulnerable. “Lisa, you’re still my friend, right?”

“Of course!”

“I know that, um, sometimes I’m a little harder on you than I should be. I feel like I’m a bit of a difficult person to be around. But still, no matter what happens, you were always there. I just got scared that maybe you had decided you were tired of it, or you didn’t want to talk to me anymore, or something…”

I reached out and grasped her hands. “That wouldn’t ever happen, Yukina. I promise. I wouldn’t ever leave you behind like that.”

She smiled faintly, and seemed to have a bit of her usual confidence back. “But really, I do wish you’d rely on me a little more. You’re always helping other people with their problems, but you don’t really reach out to people when you’re in trouble. I may not always be able to help, but…”

“Aww, Yukina!” I jumped onto the bed and hugged her. “I’m sorry. I’m not great at that kind of thing. But with you and Sayo there for me, then, well…”

“I have to say I was surprised to see that you’d gotten so, um, close with her. But I think it’s a good match.”

“So do we have your blessing?”

She sniffed. “Well. As long as it doesn’t interfere with the band, I suppose it’s okay.”

That was as good as I was going to get out of her. But honestly, I was happy to have the reassurance that everything was going to be okay between us. Maybe, every once in a while… relying on other people wasn’t so bad.

“Oh, welcome back,” Sayo said from her position lying on my couch once I returned. “How did it go?”

I gave her a thumbs up as I sat next to her on the couch and put her head on my lap. “I’m glad I had such a smart girlfriend to give me good advice.”

She grinned up at me smugly. “You’re really lucky to have me around, aren’t you?”

“Speaking of,” I said, “what does Hina think about all of this?”

The grin immediately disappeared from her face. “Um. Well.”

“You haven’t told her? I can’t believe I listened to all this advice from someone who won’t even follow it herself! I take back all the compliments.”

“The advice worked, didn’t it? And besides, it’s, um, different for me. I don’t really know how to approach her about it, and if I did she’d definitely tease me. I’m not really good at dealing with her, so…”

“Were you listening to anything you said earlier? This is a perfect opportunity to get closer to her. Here, hand me your phone.”

“Wait, what are you--”

I found Hina’s name in Sayo’s contacts and slowly dictated a message out loud as I was writing it. “‘Hina, I have something important to tell you later, so wait for me.’ I’ll add some stars here so it sounds kinda cute and not scary, aaand send. There you go, it’s as simple as that.”

Sayo covered her face with her hands. “Oh, god.”

I stroked her hair lightly. “Don’t worry, it’ll be fine. I’ll come with you and everything.”

She peeked out from between her fingers like some sort of small animal checking the territory for predators. “Well… if you’re there, then, I guess it’s okay.”

I let out a burst of laughter. “Geez, Sayo, you really can’t do anything without me, can you?”

“You can’t do anything without me either, so I guess we’re a good match, aren’t we?” She smiled at me and I felt my heart flutter again. It was really unfair how she could say things like that with a straight face… but that was part of why I loved her, wasn’t it?

It was times like these where I really felt like I could do anything. Tomorrow more than today, today more than yesterday… if Sayo and I were together, then we would definitely, no doubt, find happiness. I knew it.

**Author's Note:**

> I got into BanDori earlier this year and now I'm actually kinda obsessed. This is probably (?) my favorite ship right now so I'm happy I got to write something for it, even if the dialogue for the second half went some uhh interesting places. Not sure what I'll write next but I'd really like to write some more BanDori stuff! I mean, I love Hikawa Sayo, but there are so many other characters I wanna show my love for.
> 
> The title's a reference to an Utada Hikaru song.


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